We all have talents and abilities. Some of have skills that seem unlikely to have much value out in the world. But one never knows…..

Recently I have seen how the most unlikely of skills can actually be profitable; not in the “riches beyond the dreams of Avarice” sense but small gains none the less.

I have been a good hoola-hooper since I was a kid. I have a freakishly good sense of balance and even now, at 45 years old, I am still a good hoola-hooper. At this age I don’t have as many opportunities to hoola-hoop as I used to but I jump at every single one of them that comes up. This includes being at a networking event and being really interested in one of the door prizes. The key note speaker was wondering how he was going to give away the door prizes and I raised my hand and said “I’ll hoola-hoop for one!” (He had used a hoola-hoop as an example earlier in his presentation) I jumped up, went to the front of the room and spent about 30 seconds with the hoop and walked away with the door prize.

A month or so later, I was at an outdoor concert and the emcee announced a hoola-hoop contest. I’m sure you’ve guessed that I walked up to claim a spot. Granted, most of the other contestants had been drinking, but I still managed to keep that hoop spinning longer than anyone else. My prize for that effort was an amazing gift basket filled with movie time loot: candy bars, popcorn and boxed candy like Junior Mints.

I will admit that being willing to step up front and center and hoola-hoop in front of lots of strangers takes a large helping of not caring what other people think of me. Sometimes I think that is the true talent. It has taken a long time for me to get to that point and maybe my age has a lot to do with that. All I can say is that it is very liberating to know that I’m good at something and being able to put myself out there doing it.

What sort of unusual talents and abilities do you have that you could be capitalizing on?

I don’t know about you, but I’m always trying to figure stuff out, especially about myself. It drives me crazy to think that there are old beliefs and behavior patterns that limit my choices and behaviors today. Because of all the practice, I’ve gotten really good at recognizing patterns and tracing them back to their source.

This morning while I was out walking, it occurred to me that one of the main reasons I spend time commenting on other’s choices and behaviors is because it allows me less time to take action in my own life. Now, on the surface that may not seem like a good thing. Who wants less time to do anything? But taking action can be hard. It can call up our fears and expose our lack of self-confidence. However, it can also lead to amazing accomplishments and increased self-confidence. Annoying isn’t it? It would be easier to take more risks in our lives if we had more confidence but we build confidence when we take risks and learn that we can maneuver through what comes next.

It seems like the best answer is to get out of my head and into the world. I would rater be the one taking action than the one judging the person taking action. Which do you prefer?

I first “met” Jack Canfield many years ago as the creator of a series of cassettes (Ooooo, I'm showing my age!) called “How to Build High Self-Esteem”. I picked it up at a customer service seminar. Trust me, back in the late 80’s I was in serious need of the material. It was great stuff! I’m amazed at how much of what he had to offer I have actually integrated into my life over the years and it has made a very positive difference.

About a year ago I somehow got hooked up with the monthly call being offered by Jack. On the call he answers questions that people have submitted via his web site. As expected, each call has a bit of promotion for his upcoming training events but that is kept to a minimum and the rest of the information being offered is well worth it.

This month’s call offered me a context for something I’ve been feeling for the past few months but just couldn’t articulate. The question was about navigating relationships during rocky times. The concept that Jack offered was about having “High intention/Low attachment”. The idea is that you do all that you can to reach your goals (High intention) and have no or low attachment about how they actually get reached. Basically, do your best and let go of the rest. We can control only a small number of things in our lives (I have finally and reluctantly accepted that truth). We can’t control the market, the weather, the reactions of other people, etc., etc., etc., etc., etc. It’s hard to let go of how I think a situation should unfold because of course my version of it is the best one. ;) But, if I can learn to take my own actions and then observe what happens next instead of trying to dictate what happens next, I’m in a much better place to decide what how to proceed. Too often I get hung up on wondering why things didn’t happen according to my plan and I miss the opportunities that ARE available to me in the moment.

If you’re interested in getting your own dose of insight, visit www.askjackcanfield.com for the monthly call details. It’s great material and a good reminder that even though we can’t control everything, we can always control our choices.

Oh, those amazing moments of insight. You know the ones. Those moments when everything makes perfect sense, when you feel at peace with the world and your part in it. Hopefully you’ve had some of those moments. The odd thing is that when those moments occur, they can feel like the new norm, like you will feel that calm and that clear forever. And then life throws you a curve ball. Just like that you are back in the land of anxiety and doubt. Maybe enlightenment is situational. Just because we gain clarity in one area of our lives doesn’t necessarily mean we can apply it across the board. Many (many) years ago on Sesame Street, Grover was learning how to count apples. He made it all the way up to 5! Then, Susan asked him to count some oranges. Grover replied that he only knew how to count apples, he didn’t know how to count oranges. Doesn’t it just feel like that sometimes? I would hope that all the work we do in our relationships would apply across the board but I suppose that each one will have its own unique issues as well. Just because we get something figured out in one relationship, doesn’t mean that we can easily apply the same lesson in a different situation.

Or maybe the real lesson is that I have to realize the issues really ARE all the same and I only think they are different. I mean really! What is the one common denominator in all my relationships? Me. The same is true for you too. What if the question is “How does my new knowledge about myself help in this situation?” instead of “Why doesn’t my new knowledge about myself help in this situation?” Realizing we have new tools to work with can take a bit of time when we are used to reacting to something in a habitual way.

Either way, I’m always grateful for whatever clarity I can find in any of my relationships. Maybe some day I’ll be able to avoid the anxiety and doubt all together, but I doubt it

(Warning!! This post is geared primarily to women simply because the issue being discussed is one that applies primarily to the fair sex.)

Hmmmmmmm. Does the title have you wondering about what I could possibly be talking about? Today I wanted to talk about the idea of pleasure. Who doesn’t want to have more pleasure in their life? I know I sure do! I actually work pretty hard at making sure I already have some every day. But in my experience, it’s not so much that people don’t want more pleasure, it’s that either; they don’t feel like they are allowed to have more or they simply don’t know/remember what those things are that bring them pleasure.

Personally, I don’t get it. Why would anyone feel like they don’t deserve more of what they really want in their life? I mean, it’s their life after all. I know there are all sorts of voices in our heads that can get in the way though. Those voices that say things about a good work ethic, delaying gratification, responsibilities to others, blah, blah, blah. All those things are important but don't have to eliminate to possibility for fun. It's not an either/or proposition. When we get into the rut of ONLY serving others, resentment will begin to bloom. It may not show up on the surface (because that wouldn’t be very nice) but it will probably begin to show up in other ways. Problems with our health is one of the most common areas.

If you fall into the category of someone who always puts yourself last to take care of others, please listen up. When you are not taking care of yourself, you have so much less to give to others. So, given that logic, if you really want to take good care of others, you will start by taking care of yourself first.

If you are interested in finding out more about how to start making your own pleasure a priority, please visit one of the following sites:

Cheryl Richardson
Mama Gena
Dr. Christian Northrup

The process of transforming yourself into someone who not only knows what brings you pleasure but also allows yourself to have it can be a challenging one. Be patient with yourself! If you start with small steps, you will be running in no time!